I interrupt this flow to bring you...

Hey Friends,

I'm a big fan of NPR, especially KCRW in LA, but I typically dreaded their twice yearly fundraising drives. Not because I wasn't happy to contribute to the station (I was) but because the normal flow of their programming was interrupted continuously by calls for pledges and support. I just wanted them to get back to playing great music or talking about the solar system or something. But I got it. They were doing what they needed to do.

I bring this up because I'm feeling a little insecure/awkward about interrupting the flow I've created on this page with regular reminders about my Kickstarter campaign. I don't want it to get annoying. At the same time, I want to take what I'm doing seriously and give it my full effort. I've done a lot of things half-assed in my life. I get very excited about things in the beginning, and then my energy starts to wane, and then...well...on to the next thing. I've come to accept this about my personality, but in this case, I'm committed to seeing it through.

I'm trying to figure out the least obtrusive but still effective way of spreading the word about my campaign. I've been adding a little "check out my Kickstarter campaign..." line above many of the images I'm posting. It feels more like a gentle reminder than a knock on the head. More with the flow than against it. Please let me know if that's not the case. I welcome your input and value your opinions. Really, tell me what you think.

I had been thinking about doing Kickstarter for a bit, but it wasn't until I finished reading <a href="https://www.facebook.com/amandapalmer">Amanda Palmer</a>'s The Art of Asking that I made the decision to go for it. Still, asking for support is no easy feat, at least not for me. It's pushing many of my insecurity buttons. Am I creative enough? Am I worthy enough? Do I seem desperate? Who the hell do I think I am? The inner critic has been screaming, and I'm proud of myself for launching the campaign in the face of so much insecurity and fear. It feels good to practice what you preach.

And though I want to manage and market this campaign in the best way possible (that's what I tell myself), I have no idea what that even means. This is a new endeavor for me. I guess I want to do with it what I've been trying to do with this page, which is to be as straightforward and real as I can be about things.

I've been feeling for a bit now that I'm ready to reach beyond my Facebook page. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE this page, this community, and am committed to the work I'm doing here. 100%. But there's a world beyond Facebook (I know, crazy) and I'd like to venture into that world as well with this work. The book I'm planning - just love. - is my first step in that direction. And it feels great.

I also just want to say that it really means a lot to me if you decide to support my campaign—by sharing it, contributing to it, sending amazing vibes, etc.—but it's also totally cool with me if you don't. I feel the love from this community all the time and in amazing ways. My book would never be happening in the first place if it weren't for you all.

I believe in the work I do on this page, and I believe in the book I'm creating. Love is power, and it makes a difference. If there's one thing I can offer you from my experience with Kickstarter so far, it's to go for the things that matter to you. Let the fears and insecurities play out as they may, but don't let them stop you from doing the things that speak to your heart. It's far less painful to move through your fears than it is to reside in them.

Here's me moving through my fear right now, asking: Please check out my Kickstarter campaign when you have a chance, and if you can, help me make just love. a reality. 

With love, gratitude and solidarity,

Scott

100% Responsible.

Friends,

We've got to take responsibility for our lives. Every aspect of them. Responsibility is a power we can't give up, not if we want to be whole, and free, and happy.

I know how to point fingers and blame and project and make everyone wrong but myself. This is a useless practice. There is so much healing that comes from acknowledging our place in things, especially our place in the creation of the life we're living.

We are where we are because of the choices we've made to get here. By acknowledging that, we give ourselves the power to make different choices, the power to change our lives into something that resembles more of what we desire, more of what lives in our dreams.

When we lose ourselves in blame, we give up our power. We present ourselves as helpless, as victims. We are not victims. I am not a victim. You are not a victim.

We are responsible for our lives. For our health, our happiness, our relationships, our growth. Everything. This is a beautiful gift, this responsibility. It means that no one or nothing has more power over the reality of our lives than we do.

Let's embrace this responsibility. Let's revel in it. Let's take to the streets with our arms raised and our smiles wide in the knowledge that we are the creators of whatever life we dare to create.

In love and solidarity...and 100% responsibility…

We can't own what others think of us.

I got a message from one of us the other day asking me if I could give advice on how to deal with rejection. I won't go into the details of her story, but she's dealing with the pain of being rejected by a man she had been with for many years, who is now engaged to be married to another woman.

In my experience, rejection sucks. I know I’m not alone here. It just sucks, for nearly everyone, nearly every time. None of us wants to be told we're not good enough, which is what being rejected ultimately feels like. I'm not smart enough or good-looking enough or this enough or that enough or whatever the hell you want me to be enough.

It bites, especially when we're being rejected by someone we like or love or admire. The more we care about the person, the harder we're hit by their rejection, and the more personal it feels. But when we reel from the sting of rejection, it's usually because we take ownership of whatever it is we feel we've been rejected for. If you don't find me physically attractive, some part of my mind tells me I must be ugly. I own your assessment of me. Now that's never a wise choice.

How others see us doesn't represent the truth of who we are. It only represents the truth of how they see us. Nothing more. Think about all the times you've rejected someone or something. When you choose vanilla ice cream over chocolate, your rejection of chocolate speaks only to your preferences, not to the essence of the ice cream. Okay, it’s hard to get too profound with ice cream.

Bottom line: don’t own what others think of you. That’s for them to own. Your job is to work at loving yourself, as you are. That includes your crooked smile and atypical fashion sense and bizarre family history and even your penchant for garden gnomes. Whatever it is that makes you you is something to celebrate, not be ashamed of or feel less than on account of.

Rejection, with all its pain, can also be a great catalyst for self-love, and self-love is the best catalyst for most anything important. Rather than accept another’s negative assessment of you as correct, take up your own defense in the court of your mind. What we think of ourselves dictates how we feel about ourselves, so let’s create our own definitions. And let’s have words like beautiful and kind and enough be a part of those definitions.

To the sweet soul who wrote to me, and whose rejection is fresh and very intense, I’d like to add this. I know you’re in a lot of pain right now, but you will get through this. Like other great pains we endure throughout our lives, the hurt of this rejection will lessen greatly with time. Feel the hurt you need to feel, but know this: You are enough, as you are. No qualifiers, no conditions. Trust in your path, and trust in the reality that this man is not the man for you. He couldn’t possibly be. Not yet, but one day I bet you’ll see very clearly how lucky you were to have avoided the life you had hoped for with him. One day you may even be grateful to him for not recognizing what a truly special person you are. Because now you are free to play with whatever other wonderful possibilities life has in store for you.

In love and solidarity…

Our mind goes both ways.

Hey Friends,

I read a lot of comments and have gotten several messages from people ready to give up, ready to accept the fact that their lives will never improve and that happiness is simply not in the cards for them. To this I respectfully say...WHAT!?!?

If you fall into this camp of belief that nothing good is on your horizon, I'm begging you to reconsider. It's not true. You have no idea what's on your horizon. None of us does. It makes no difference if you've lived for the last ten years without even a moment of happiness. That was then. This is now. New moments present new possibilities.

Our minds are powerful, in both directions. If you commit yourself to misery, you will find it everywhere you go, even in the arms of your loving family or from the cabin of your private jet. You can't give up on being happy and expect to be happy. It's impossible. Especially because the happiness you're giving up on exists inside of you, which means you're giving up on yourself.

Why would you do that? Because you've made some bad choices? Because you've had some terrible luck? Because you've lost more than you can bear to acknowledge? Because others have given up on you? Okay. Life can suck. All that is still not reason enough to give up on your life, on yourself. There is no amount of pain and suffering worth allowing yourself to let go of the possibility of happiness in your life, right now and into the future.

Use your mind differently. Right now, it's deeply committed to the negative. It's dragging you into a world of should haves and can'ts and nevers. Get in there, shake things up, interrupt the flow of negative thinking, demand some positive thought and action. You're the only one who can get your mind thinking different thoughts, and once you do, things will start to change. You can make a stand for your happiness, no matter what your mind throws at you. This is your life. Don't give it up to the negativity of your mind.

Sure it's a lot of work to undo our negative habits and shift our thought patterns. We're struck by setbacks constantly, lost in the cycles of self-loathing and self-abuse. It's one of the hardest parts of being human. But look at all the work that goes into being unhappy. Look at the toll it takes on your psyche, your health and your relationships. To be clear, misery is work, with only pain as a reward. If you're going to be working hard at something, no matter what, why not work your ass off for your peace and happiness?

A setback is a setback, it's not the end. Keep trying. Whomever you've been is not who you are right now, and the story you've created about yourself does not reflect this moment. Really, you are only just beginning the rest of your life. Don't give up at the start, when everything and anything is possible.

Some part of you doesn't believe you're worth your effort, and I'm here to tell you that's bullshit. You're worth it and then some. You will always be worth it. And you've got everything you need inside you to change your life for the better. But you have to take positive action—books, meditation, exercise, support groups, connection, whatever makes you happy—and you have to believe, in yourself and in your life. If you can't yet believe in yourself, still take positive action. Your mind will have a harder time arguing with the results.

And know that you're not alone, not by a long shot. There are loads of us out there doing everything we can to make better lives for ourselves. Getting up, moving forward, falling back and then getting up and moving forward again. We have to keep working at our happiness. The work pays off, I promise you.

Please believe me when I tell you...You are worth everything.

In love and solidarity…

Let's get to work.

We seekers tend to be impatient. I know I am. I always want things to go faster. I work hard on my spiritual growth and I want to see the fruits of my labor. Fast.

That's rarely how things work. Inherent in spiritual growth is the need for deeper acceptance, deeper surrender. That means accepting, surrendering to the timing of things.

We can't know just how much pain lives within us, or how much healing it will take to release that pain. All we can do is stay committed, keep working, and trust in the twists and turns of our path.

And be gentle with ourselves. Patient too. It's no easy task to put a magnifying glass up to our fears and insecurities. The only road to true consciousness runs through fields and fields of shit. That's how it is. Face your darkness, find your light.

Just don't give up, no matter what. There's no greater gift we can give to ourselves, and to the world, than the most loving and realized version of who we are.

Let's get to work.

Affirmations are silly?

I used to think affirmations were silly. That was before I started doing them. Funny how quickly we can judge things before even giving them a chance.

Affirmations are great. I am beautiful. I am kind. I am enough. With all the mind's defamations, we need something to counteract that noise. Meditation is great, too. If singing brings you joy, sing away. If dancing relaxes you, get your groove on.

Stand on your head and wiggle your feet to samba music if that gets you a little more excited to participate in this reality of ours. Make time and do those things that have you smiling, that quiet your mind, that remind you how good it can feel to be alive.

This is where the spiritual work has a good chance of being fun, too. Where we get a break from our darkness to play in our light, and to lose ourselves in joy.

Though happiness is a birthright, it is not handed to any of us. It can't be. Only I can give myself my happiness, just as only you can give yourself yours. But we have to feed it, we have to take care of our happiness. We have to create experiences each day that reflect our commitment to building a happier life.

So yes, this is the fun work, but it's still work. It takes clocking in each day, many times a day, and getting down to business. Your life is your most important job. A peaceful, loving, compassionate, happy life is within your reach—it will always be within your reach—but you've got to put in the hours.

Time to turn up the samba music…