I woke up feeling heavy today. The moment my eyes opened I felt off. I worked out, but that didn't help. I meditated, then talked to a good friend. That didn't help either. There's nothing wrong, nothing specific that comes to mind. It happens like that sometimes, entering the new day in a grumbly kind of fog. Ready for things to be bad. And when that's the attitude, even good things can feel kind of sour. Thoughts are powerful that way.
Whoa...how's that for a downer of an opening?
Let's see where this goes…
This isn't my first time at the wake up miserable rodeo. I know my moods well enough to know that whatever it is I'm feeling will pass. Everything passes eventually. All the healthy food and meditation and affirmations in the world can't always pull us from the gloom. Sometimes it just takes riding it out. Not the most fun ride, but it gets you to the other side in time.
But before I started writing this, I sat in silence to try to feel out what was going on with me. It feels like resistance. It feels like fear. Then I started to feel all the places where fear has lodged itself in my psyche to different degrees. Fear of judgment. Fear of failure. Even fear of success is making some noise. Fear that the world is ending. Fear that I don't know what I really want. Fear that I do. All these fucking fears swirling around like poisonous snakes nipping at my peace of mind.
So I asked myself...What is there to do about all this fear? The answer that came...Feel the fear, however you need to, but don't let it stop you from doing what you're doing to live the most fulfilling life possible. Really just a revision of one of my favorite mantras: Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Fear will paralyze us if we let it, my friends. It will beat the shit out of us, swallow us, spit us out and then beat the shit out of us again. If we let it. So let's not let it.
Our fears will always be a part of our lives. As will overcoming our fears. But we have to step up. When we see ourselves saying no to something we really want to do, because of fear, let's take whatever step we can to do it anyway. Or a step closer to getting to the point of doing it. Something, anything to let our minds know we are over being ruled by our fears.
Call on all the times you moved beyond a fear. Remember that feeling. Remember how you survived it. Fear wants us to believe we'll be destroyed by doing that thing we're afraid to do. The truth is, we're likely to be awakened. Revitalized. Empowered.
Every time we feel the fear and do it anyway, we change. We get closer to some version of our truth. We get an even sweeter taste of freedom. Let's all start to face our fears differently, and let's vibe on each other's courage to do so. I'll face my fears, you face yours. As much as we can. Until they're not so much fears as those silly things we can't believe we were once so afraid of.
In love and solidarity…
p.s. I feel a lot better, just writing this. Write shit down, get it out. It helps so much. The only prerequisite to being a writer, by the way, is knowing how to write. And if you can read this, then you can write.