This is an addendum to my "some friendships need to end" video from earlier. I left out some things worth saying (that's the risk of impromptu video), so here goes a little more about ending friendships.
If it's time to end a friendship/relationship, do it with as much love as you can possible muster. No matter the reasons for the end, it is within your power to walk away with love. Yes, even if ugliness led you to the break-up. Honor whatever good lived within your connecti<span class="text_exposed_show">on by leaving in a clean and loving way. That, you can control. How the other person responds is completely out of your hands. Don't own their response. Own yours.
Take some time to be grateful for the friendship you had. It's easy to focus on what was toxic about the relationship, but if you've ended it, you've given the necessary attention to what was toxic. It's over now. Why keep living in the ugliness? Find some gratitude for the good that was there.
I've had some harsh ends to friendships in my life. A handful of them still sting in moments. When I close my eyes and allow myself to feel the love I had/have for these former friends, and the gifts I've received from their friendships, I feel a little sadness, but I feel a whole lot of gratitude.
Know that whatever you experienced with your friend/lover/spouse was meant to be as it was, or it would never have been at all. Trust that you were given what you needed to be given from the experience, and stay open to learning whatever lessons can be learned from the relationship. Then move on.
The more we eliminate the negative, the more space we create for the positive. When we let our toxic relationships go, we make room for positive relationships that support our well-being.
And because it's rarely easy to end a close relationship—even those that are much more negative than positive—allow yourself to mourn the loss if you need to. Feel whatever it is you need to feel. And move on when you can.
What do you all think? How have you handled friendship/relationship break-ups in a way that felt healthy for you? The more voices the better.
In love and solidarity...