I read a lot of comments and have gotten several messages from people ready to give up, ready to accept the fact that their lives will never improve and that happiness is simply not in the cards for them. To this I respectfully say...WHAT!?!?
If you fall into this camp of belief that nothing good is on your horizon, I'm begging you to reconsider. It's not true. You have no idea what's on your horizon. None of us does. It makes no difference if you've lived for the last ten years without even a moment of happiness. That was then. This is now. New moments present new possibilities.
Our minds are powerful, in both directions. If you commit yourself to misery, you will find it everywhere you go, even in the arms of your loving family or from the cabin of your private jet. You can't give up on being happy and expect to be happy. It's impossible. Especially because the happiness you're giving up on exists inside of you, which means you're giving up on yourself.
Why would you do that? Because you've made some bad choices? Because you've had some terrible luck? Because you've lost more than you can bear to acknowledge? Because others have given up on you? Okay. Life can suck. All that is still not reason enough to give up on your life, on yourself. There is no amount of pain and suffering worth allowing yourself to let go of the possibility of happiness in your life, right now and into the future.
Use your mind differently. Right now, it's deeply committed to the negative. It's dragging you into a world of should haves and can'ts and nevers. Get in there, shake things up, interrupt the flow of negative thinking, demand some positive thought and action. You're the only one who can get your mind thinking different thoughts, and once you do, things will start to change. You can make a stand for your happiness, no matter what your mind throws at you. This is your life. Don't give it up to the negativity of your mind.
Sure it's a lot of work to undo our negative habits and shift our thought patterns. We're struck by setbacks constantly, lost in the cycles of self-loathing and self-abuse. It's one of the hardest parts of being human. But look at all the work that goes into being unhappy. Look at the toll it takes on your psyche, your health and your relationships. To be clear, misery is work, with only pain as a reward. If you're going to be working hard at something, no matter what, why not work your ass off for your peace and happiness?
A setback is a setback, it's not the end. Keep trying. Whomever you've been is not who you are right now, and the story you've created about yourself does not reflect this moment. Really, you are only just beginning the rest of your life. Don't give up at the start, when everything and anything is possible.
Some part of you doesn't believe you're worth your effort, and I'm here to tell you that's bullshit. You're worth it and then some. You will always be worth it. And you've got everything you need inside you to change your life for the better. But you have to take positive action—books, meditation, exercise, support groups, connection, whatever makes you happy—and you have to believe, in yourself and in your life. If you can't yet believe in yourself, still take positive action. Your mind will have a harder time arguing with the results.
And know that you're not alone, not by a long shot. There are loads of us out there doing everything we can to make better lives for ourselves. Getting up, moving forward, falling back and then getting up and moving forward again. We have to keep working at our happiness. The work pays off, I promise you.
Please believe me when I tell you...You are worth everything.
In love and solidarity…